Category Archives: Uncategorized

A Bigger Picture


And if you want to tell me something, please do, because i’m very open and really need you to say something whatever it is, let it be my guidance and love that always keep around me that never fade away. Never ask in return and always love me unconditionally. A love that only come from You, the One, the Source, the Holy Man who dwells in heaven, my beloved Father in Heaven. Your words is my strenght and your words would never let me down and hurts me, because i know that you are always love me without any hesitations. True love, pure love that always shine to me as your beloved daughter. And if you want to tell me something, i’m ready to hear as i open my mind and heart and soul to your holy words. Amen.

If there is nothing to worry about then not to be worried much. As Ares told you before, not to overanalyzed the situation and himself. Let it goes as it is. It might be hard for you to understand it, as now you fell like you’ve been cheated. It’s not always goes like that. People often judge theirselves too much and too quickly. They only see the bigger picture without knowing every little pictures that constructs that big picture.

You paint your own picture. If you want it to be colorful or dark or even blank, without any colors applied, because you want it as clean as you can have and you don’t want any stains that will ruined your picture. If you like it then go for it, if you don’t then you should add more color to it. As life is not always blue or white, sometimes it contains thousand colors that will mesmerized you.

Your eyes were made to see beauty in every aspects or pictures. You see what you want to see, and if you don’t want, then you can ask your eyes to see every details or beauty in it. Before the light there was the dark. After the dark there is a light. What you think now is what you want, what you want now is what you feel and what you feel now is what you experience. So, let your soul go to find trueness in your life. As your eyes become blind, your heart become bitter and your brain become stuck. Let the soul find it’s way to reach you back to where you are and reconcile and help you to be a better person.

A beauty in a butterfly is not coming from the day she borns, but there is a painful changing in her life. From nothing to something, from no one to someone, and you should learn from a butterfly, that’s the bigger picture. So, if you feel unloved then give some love, to anyone that might feel unloved too, then you will learn how to be loved and to give love. It’s the most beautiful thing on earth. So, be the love itself.

You’re not responsible for other’s actions or thoughts about you. Let them in their own mind and you will be in your mind. No mind matches, that’s okay, you are not sharing the same brain and same life, you are only sharing a breathe to live.

Listen to your father’s voice, as he’s loud and humble and full of wisdom. It’s okay to feel betrayed and sad and down, you are a soul who lives in a human body. You will feel pain and emotions. And you will remember it everytime you come back to life.

For Astrid has find her own way home, so, you should find your own way home, to the house that full of love, laughters and shelters. A beautiful house that i build for you and ready to welcome you home whenever you are ready, because i’m always with you no matter what, i will always love you my child.

Your Father in Heaven




As if i could change one more time, i would like to be a person that useful and not useless like now.

I’m writing to let people know that they should use their life as maximal as they can and give as much as they can. Being loved is the greatest feeling of all but giving love is the truthful thing of all. If you are not giving love as often as you can give, then start to give love now. Because it’s never too late to give love but it will be too late when the love is fading away. So, give love now. Even if you are not knowing the person that will receive your love yet, but it will be nice if you will never know the person by themselves, but by the love you give.

Always give not take. It will automatically happen or turns to you. Don’t give love because you want to be loved. Give love because you want to give and you’re happy to give. That’s unconditional love. Don’t think that you will get in returned from the person that you give love, but think that this person will be grateful and thankful.

Let your smile brighten the world, you have to smile more often, so you will feel grateful too.

For all the lovers out there, don’t forget to give love to your partner, family, friends and even to the stranger, because every being needs love to grow, nourished by love. The important thing of all is love, conquer the love and you will be the love itself.


March 28th, 2017



After all of the time we’ve been together, now i am relieve knowing you are not alone anymore. Finally you find your own true mate.

What i’ve been thingking all these days will not have get any results as you begin to find your true love and let no hearts will breaks so there’s no need a repairment. All you have to do is to be grateful. You have your own time with him. He’s always be with you, he won’t far from you and he will not forgeting you as he begins to feel falling in love with you. It needs couple of months and days and required a special time to be with you. What he feels that he’s just wanna be with you. He’s desperately missing you, but he has no brave to text you because he feels that you only considering him as your good friend. You don’t need to text him back. Just wait until the decision day is coming. You have to make a final decision, whether you wanna be with him or not. This is a once is a lifetime chance for you. You need to be practical. Don’t overanalyze him or the situation. He only needs a yes or no answer, and he already consider all the possibilities and losses. 

He is a great and good man for you. Although in the end, he feeds his own fear to be losing you one more time. He needs time to be healed. It’s not the right love for him now, as he has his own path. He will not meet his soulmate/twin flame also, but he just met his new partner that can help him to accomplished his life path. Enjoy the path that you choose in reality or dreams. He will be always be with you and he will be always missing you.

Knowing that you are his soulmate/twin flame make him sad but also overjoy. That finally he’s sure that he’s right bout his feeling towards you and he can’t deny his feeling anymore as he’s now realized that he needed you to be in his life. Taking part in his life, become the part of it.

He will met someone to help him to accomplished his will. And he will be thankful for this. For he always remembering you even you are nt here anymore. You’re such a lovely girl to him, and he’s really grateful to have you besides him. His true love will never fade away. His memories and feelings will always stay with you for the entire life together. He might not be sad but he is, as if he’s losing his love, this love that always stay and will never fade away. 

And if you read this in the future, it might be late. Because you’re already with someone else. So, make up your mind. If you wanna be with him, then speak up your mind, and he will be happy with it. He just needs you to be more open with him. Because he’s also needs a big effort to be with you or get together with you. You love him and he loves you too. No need to be worry, because both of you will learn how to be loved and loved. 

So, wait till the final date and you will see that he make a big effort to be just to be with you. Don’t get him ashamed, make him happy and you will be happy for yourself too. So, be happy for yourself too. So, be happy and never regrets what you have done, take it as a learn for you. 

Wherever you are, i will always love you too, Pandora.


March 28th, 2017

Love Your Father Like You Love Him


Dear Spirit/Soul, i know and i got a feeling that you want to tell me something. You dragged me to take the pen and to write immediately for automatic writing. Please tell me what do you want to say or what i need to know. For i know and believe that you won’t hurt me and you love me unconditionally with your divine love and protection and blessing, Amen.


A sacred name that has given by his parents, her mother and father. A special name that his mother in heaven gave to him so his soulmate/twin flame would recognized him. Awakening his spiritual soul and start to believe in his own spiritual experience and life, as life would not let him down. He has a beautiful life as he loves beautiful women, like a flower, colorful and scents. Any flower would fit to him, a warm, sweet and lovely scents will accomplished his sense of smell. Everything beauty is pleased him. So, you should treat yourself to be beautiful again, then you will feel loved, a self love, and you will have a confident.

You might leave him, but he will not leave you as he starts to feel comfortable with you. Even though he still has doubt or fear in a relationship. But, i saw you will try to open a new relationship with him, as he asked for it. It’s not easy as he is not an easy man but he will try to make a move with you, then you have to change. Stop criticized yourself moreover to your partner or he will move back from you.

Keep on meditating to heal your problem with your father. You should remember that your father loves you unconditionally but you always treat him like he is nothing. Hey! Wake Up!

He is the center of your life. Without him, you are nothing. Help him as if you can make his weight lighter, by seeing you are okay and can handle your ownlife, he will be safe and relieve. Try to love your father, like you love him, the happy lives that you have had in your past lives with him. If you could love him, then you can also love your father.

Release your old anger and be free. Don’t have to wait for a long time, starts today, then you will be free. Don’t forget to practice, then you’ll be completed.

Remember that your  mother in heaven always love you and support you. Be blessed, my daughter. I love you.


Your Mother in Heaven

March, 26th 2017

My Past Life Oracle Reading



I should not doubt myself anymore. My instinctive knowledge of healing, as well as a natural healing gift, was from my past life as a Healer. It’s embedded within me unconsiously. Taking classes or entering a healing profession, also practicing will bring me into a successful healer. It might be a sign as the best fit profession for me in the future.

The lifestyle habits and my weight or eating-disorder issues might come from this lifetime. Fear of insufficiency, including fear of not having enough money to live. What should i do is to understand that this past is over and will not repeat in this current lifetime. Learn and let it go, open myself up to abundance.

The difficulties relationship with men that i have might also come from the unfinished issues with my father in my past life, and still until now. He may not have been my father in those lives, though, as souls continue to reincarnate together in different roles. Be willing to release old anger of unforgiveness to break any negative patterns with my father’s soul. To be remember that forgiveness doesn’t mean that you approve of this person’s actions. It simply means that i’m no longer willing to carry around anger energy. Be kind and support him to fullfil his life without overemotional or judging.



There’s something when a girl born, her name is Deviyani. Not a common name. She’s and indian origin in her past life. A descendant of Indian-British parents. Gujarat is her homeland, the land of the Maharajas, Jaipuri blood from her mother side. A prisoner in her own house, house of the Maharajas. Waiting for her man to come, a lady in waiting. Big passion of life but couldn’t reach because of the family tradition rules, since her father the land ruler. She couldn’t obey her father and try to run her own life. She got shot by the army from the back when she tried to run away from her home, outside the palace building, she fell on the ground, her red skirt, pierced nose with big round nose ring, her clinking anklets / paayal made some noise when her body landed on the ground. Her father would not let her out of the palace gate even for her own good. Otherwise, someone asked her to marry him. She died on the palace ground, alone.

Before her death, she swears that in the next life, she will try to reach her dreams, to live her life to the fullest, no matter what or who’s her father, she will still try to be free. Freedom is her life purpose. To choose her own life path without being judged by other people. She needs to fulfill her swear. And in this life time she promises to live her life to the fullest one more time, to be brave and fear of nothing. She will be loved and she will be okay, so her soul will be rest in peace.

Please help me to fulfill my wishes.

August 25th, 2016


31 Years Old


It’s your birthday.

God sent you to the world to cherish your family with your birth. unfortunately, you are unique, very unique, everyone is unique, they have their own uniqueness, but you are different. You are born to be different from others. You are not their kind, you are very special with special needs and talents and courage your life. some are complicated, some are smooth, everything is undercontrol. You need to control your emotion, be chill and calm down. Don’t take everything too serious,  it will drained your energy. Run a balance life sometimes up sometimes down and sometimes not going anywhere. Buckle up! prepare yourself to the next level, you deserve it.

Someone is waiting for you there behind the door. Don’t be in a rush, take your time and cheers. Wine glass is ready to be poured. Clingking glasses of the wedding toast. A simple wedding ceremony, wedding dress and wait, just wait your happiness is coming closer/near. Enjoy your day, the day when the angels sent you to your mother’s womb. Don’t ask why, just run your life to the fullest. I love you, Deviyani.

August 25, 2016

Review: Past Life Oracle Card



Sebenarnya udah lama bannggeeettt pengen beli kartu oracle Past Life sama Life Purpose-nya Doreen Virtue, tapi baru bulan lalu kesampean. Dapat rekomendasi dari temen yang juga tarot reader, buat beli di, cuma harus sabar banget menanti, biasanya lama di bea cukai Indonesia. Akhirnya pesen di dan pas banget dapet diskon dan ongkos kirim gratis, total untuk dua kartu itu Rp 330,670,-. Tanggal 15 Februari pesen dan bayar, 17 Februari dikirim dari Inggris, sampe di rumah saya tanggal 3 Maret. Lumayan cepet juga, kurang lebih 2 minggu.

Ukuran kartunya pas ditangan, jadi gak susah pas kocok kartunya, guidebooknya juga gak terlalu besar, penjelasannya singkat, padat dan jelas, dan emang disaranin kalau masih gak ngerti juga sama penjelasan guidebooknya, bisa dilanjutin dengan meditasi. Susunan kartu dan penjelasan guidebooknya berdasarkan alfabet, jadi gak usah susah-susah nyari penjelasannya. Kartunya borderless, dengan lapisan warna emas ditiap pinggiran kartunya, jadi pas ditumpuk, bagus banget emas mengkilap gitu. Gambarnya biasanya aja menurut saya, tapi cukup lengkap dan menarik, Brian L. Weiss, berhasil merangkum bermacam past life kedalam 44 kartu. Yang jelas gak ada past life sebagai Raja, Ratu, Puteri, Pangeran dan bangsawan, hahaha.

Untuk saya pribadi, waktu pertama kali liat di websitenya Doreen Virtue, saya udah ngerasa cocok energinya dengan kartu-kartu ini, jadi pas buka kartu Past Life (yang Life Purpose belum dibuka), dan saya pegang, bersihin residual energi dari si kartu, energinya semakin bagus. Semoga bisa ngebantu diri sendiri dan orang lain sebagai medium untuk penyembuhan emosional maupun spiritual.


Ini daftar 44 kartu dari Past Life :

  1. Angels
  2. Asia
  3. Atlantis
  4. Authority Figures
  5. Baby
  6. Biblical
  7. Celtic
  8. Communal Living
  9. Egypt
  10. Farm
  11. Father
  12. Finances
  13. Food and Hunger
  14. Forgiveness
  15. Galatic
  16. Greco-Roman
  17. Health
  18. High Priest or Priestess
  19. Imprisonment or Slavery
  20.  Karmic Relationship
  21. Knighthood
  22. Leaving or Travel
  23. Lessons and Blessings
  24. Love Life
  25. Male-Female
  26. Medicine Man or Woman
  27. Monk or Nun
  28. Mother
  29. Native American
  30. Orphan
  31. Presecution and Inquisition
  32. Phobias
  33. Scribe or Writter
  34. Ships
  35. Spirituality or Religion
  36. Spouse
  37. The Arts
  38. Transportation
  39. Trees
  40. Trust and Faith
  41. Unrequited Love
  42. Vows
  43. War and Battles
  44. Wisdom

Dear Astrid


Dear Astrid,

Now i know why you gave me these “heat sensation” on my body everytime i met him. You are right, it’s about a revenge. Battle of love and loyalty. It feels like i want to slap and punch him on his face and say, “you are such a bloody jerk”. How can you’re doing the same thing like you were used to be. 

You were angry with Karel. Because he was unfaithful with you, he had so many mistresses out there without any commitment with them, but he was still loved you and didn’t want to lose you because you were his Queen. 

And then, that was the last day of your togetherness, was a happy day and ended up with your tragic death. A car accident. He’s saved and you were not.

Dear Astrid,

Please forgive him for what he had  done. I believe that you are willing to forgive him, and i believe he will reach his conciousness before the time. He’s just in his own mind and thought now, he’s not living in the present time, still in his past life. We’re still have one and a half month to make him realize that he should change.

I’m willing to help you, so please help me too

I love you Astrid

Princess Nanyang


I saw my mother with her unique hair and hairdresser, walking from her palace to my residence, along with her maids.

My maid was calling me from the outter of residence wall, “Princess Nanyang… Princess Nanyang”, when my mother was getting closer to my residence. In my concious, i was wandering, “was it Nanyang or Nuanyang or huanyang?” but i kept on hearing “Nanyang…Nanyang…Princess Nanyang”. 

Then i saw, i was dress up in local/public costume with my husband. We used to riding a horse together. He was a warrior, something like that. When he died, i lifted up his body up and cremated him. I was walking on the sacred place, where i saw my ancestor and husband name on the plates.

It could be my past, her story just same as my other past lives. My biggest grieved was my husband death. The loss of my love and my life.